Friday, February 14, 2014

The Fox List: 2014

Greetings, one and all! Can you believe that this is the 10th annual Fox List????? I can't. I think it was Winston Churchill who said "Time flies when you're scouring the internet for pictures of hot dudes." And it is with a heavy heart that I announce that this will be the final installment of this yearly ranking of the hottest hotties. Not to quote Churchill too much in one paragraph, but I think he also was the one who said "I'm getting too old for this shit." So turn on the Dawson's Creek theme song, strap on your tear-catchers and feast your eyes on the final ten dishes.


10. Jason Carter and Shawn Morales, AKA the Pit Crew




















God bless these two men for performing their duties as RuPaul's Drag Race's servile hotties with such aplomb. There's no costume too ridiculous and no pair of Andrew Christian underpants too revealing for these studs, and for that we salute them.


9. John Cho
























It is a testament to how attractive this man is that I could even consider putting him on this list after seeing that gross thing they did to his neck on Sleepy Hollow (You know the thing I mean; or if you don't, go watch that show what are you waiting for???). And yet, here he is, in all his glory.


8. Adam Scott






















What can I say about Mr. Scott that hasn't already been said? We all know he's adorable and funny and plays the best TV boyfriend and looks great in a Letters to Cleo t-shirt. So let's just sit back and enjoy the view.


7. Ewan McGregor




























If you travel back through the annals of Fox List history, you'll find that my taste in men has shifted quite a bit since its inception. Mr. McGregor is the one person from my very first Fox List who has stood the test of time, and in fact has seemed to only improve with age. Asshole.


6. Jake Johnson

























If you watch New Girl, you understand the glory that is this man's face. If you don't, what are you stupid? Go watch it.


5. Sam Rockwell

























Fox List devotees should be used to seeing Sam Rockwell in this space. And that's because he's just the best! I know this is a kind of weird picture of him but HELLO there's a cat, of course I had to choose it.


4. Benedict Cumberbatch



















Sorry, Rose.



3. Tom Mison

























Remember when I said "Go watch Sleepy Hollow" back when we were talking about John Cho? Seriously. GO WATCH IT. Also Lost in Austen, which is incredibly stupid but in an extremely enjoyable way.


2. Idris Elba

























Dude is hot, full stop. Even being in a piece of hilarious garbage like Obsessed cannot dull the sparkle of his attractiveness.


1. Chiwetel Ejiofor
































He made his first appearance on this list back in 2008, and it seems the world has finally caught up! He's probably going to lose the Oscar to Magic Mike's sleazy boss, but if there's one place he can always count on being #1, it's here.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

The Fox List: 2013


Welcome one and all to the Fox List 2013! This is the ninth year that I have put together the definitive collection of the hottest celebrity men of the last twelve months, but this year EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED. Well, not everything. It still has hot guys, ranked in order of hotness. But this time, things were feeling a little bit stale. And there's nothing hot about that. So this year, instead of just bringing you the ten hottest men, I am listing the ten hottest CASTS of the past year. The following ten movies and TV shows have brought together some of the most attractive actors out there, many of whom are Fox List alums, and for that I salute them.


Note: I am including men here who I personally don't find all that attractive, but who are generally considered to be so. Because this is MY list and therefore I am queen, I will be pointing out who the MVP of Foxitude is for each show/movie.


Another note: Wherever possible, I have found pictures of the MVPs holding/adjacent to adorable animals. Those who have not been photographed with animals have had animals photoshopped into their pictures. You're welcome.


Without further ado...



10. 



An enjoyable movie, with the added bonus of some eye candy in the form of Chris Hemsworth, Jesse Williams and (though not particularly to my taste, undoubtedly appealing to some) Fran Kranz.

MVP: Jesse Williams, even though they hilariously tried to make him the "nerd" by putting glasses on him.


















9. 



I did not see this movie so I can't speak to its artistic merits, but there's no denying that a movie combining Idris Elba, Logan Marshall-Green, Guy Pearce and Michael Fassbender has a lot going for it in the the looks department!

MVP: Idris Elba, and not just because I have the perfect "cute animal" photo for the occasion. That is just beautiful happenstance.



















8.



Not only was this a good movie, but it also featured a trifecta of dashing dudes in the form of Adam Scott, Jon Hamm and Chris O'Dowd.

MVP: Could it be anyone other than last year's #1, Adam Scott? Nope.


























7. 



Another one I have not seen yet, despite the fact that it features not one but TWO illustrious alumni of the Fox List: Daniel Craig and Javier Bardem. Throw in the nerdy-cute Ben Whishaw and you have a recipe for success.

MVP: Normally I'd say Javier Bardem, but based on the screencaps from this movie alone I must go with Mr. Craig.



























6.



If you're going to make a movie that is close to three hours long, then you had better fill it with attractive men. It's just common courtesy. Luckily, The Dark Knight Rises is lousy with them, featuring Christian Bale, Tom Hardy, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and even a very welcome Cillian Murphy cameo.

MVP: Cillian Murphy had the least screen time, but he's the only one here to have taken the top spot on the Fox List (all the way back in 2006!).






















5. 



Truth be told, there is only one guy in this movie that I actually personally find attractive, but COME ON. It's Magic Mike. The greatest film of our generation. And before you ask "Where is Matthew McConaughey???" I will tell you that I try to be open-minded when it comes to judging foxes, but I just can't pollute my list with someone I find so creepy to look at. I'm perfectly happy to include Channing Tatum, Joe Manganiello, Matthew Bomer and Adam Rodriguez, though.

MVP: Joe Manganiello, obvs. Side note: for most of these guys, it was difficult if not impossible to find pictures of them with animals. For J.Mang it was INCREDIBLY easy and in fact I had several options to choose from.


























4. 



Laugh all you want, but I love this show a LOT. I have no shame. But even if it sucked, I would still have to admit that it has wonderful man-scenery. Without delving too deep into the supporting characters, we've got Ian Somerhalder, Paul Wesley, Daniel Gillies and Joseph Morgan. It really is an embarrassment of riches.

MVP: Though he was sadly absent from far too many episodes, none of them can hold a candle to Daniel Gillies.


























3. 



There is something for everyone in the cast of this movie. Beefcakes and boys next door. Brooding types and weird-looking dudes who Tumblr is so obsessed with that I feel obligated to include them. I give you Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston, Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Jeremy Renner and Robert Downey Jr.

MVP: I will choose Mark Ruffalo every time.


























2. 






































"What the f is 'Dancing on the Edge'???" you might ask. Oh, just a little miniseries currently airing on the BBC that stars CHIWETEL EJIOFOR AND MATTHEW GOODE, #1 FOXES OF 2008 AND 2011, RESPECTIVELY. It may only star two foxes, but you know what they say: quality over quantity.

MVP: Chiwetel, Chiwetel... a thousand times, Chiwetel.


























1. 



This may be cheating a bit, since the movie hasn't come out yet, but who cares! I make the rules, I can break them if I want. And the hotness of this cast cannot be denied. You've got two Fox List veterans (Zachary Quinto and John Cho), the rakishly handsome Chris Pine, and sexy alien dinosaur Benedict Cumberbatch. They should have called it Star Trek Into HOTNESS.

MVP: BeneDISH CumberBABE


Tuesday, February 14, 2012

The Fox List: 2012

Welcome to the eighth annual Fox List. This year, any man who has appeared on the list twice or more was disqualified, which means lots of new blood. But first, we start with a trip down memory lane...

The Fox Hall of Fame – In Which I Learn That I Have a Thing for Foreign Men (and Mark Ruffalo)

This was determined mathematically by calculating average scores, with bonus points awarded for appearing on more than two lists. But take the results with a grain of salt because I was an English major and have only the loosest grasp of math things.

5. Gaspard Ulliel (Number Five in 2006 and Number 4 in 2007)

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4. Diego Luna (Number One in 2005 and Number 6 in 2010)

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3. A tie!

Alexander Skarsgard (Number One in 2010 and Number Four in 2011)

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Mark Ruffalo (Number Six in 2008, Number Five in 2010 and Number Seven in 2011)

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2. Cillian Murphy (Number One in 2006 and Number Two in 2007)

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1. Chiwetel Ejiofor (Number One in 2008, Number Three in 2010 and Number Two in 2011)

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The Fox List 2012



10. Paul Schneider – Mark Brendanawicz may have been a mostly pointless character, but I miss seeing his face around Pawnee.

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9. Daniel Craig – But only in this outfit.

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8. Max Greenfield – Returning to the list after his #2 debut in 2010. I still prefer Deputy Leo to Schmidt, but at least other people have heard of him now!

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7. Paul Rudd – Poster boy for how unfair it is that men age the way they do.

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6. Sam Rockwell – Can place on a hot list, can win a dance-off.

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5. Ryan Gosling – Who am I to disagree with the rest of America?

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4. Ewan McGregor – A triumphant comeback for the man who appeared at #5 on my first ever list in 2005. Also, you're welcome for the picture you're about to see.

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3. The Under-60 Men of Community – Because who can choose between Donald Glover, Danny Pudi and Joel McHale?

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2. Daniel Gillies – Actor most likely to make me yell things at the TV when his show is on. Also scores bonus points for having been in Bride and Prejudice.

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1. Adam Scott – Are we having fun yet? Yes. Yes we are.

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Monday, February 14, 2011

The Fox List: 2011

This year's rule: No rules, again! But I did incorporate a couple of "whimsical" pictures throughout the list. Enjoy!

Side note: This year at the Oscars, three Best Actor and two Best Supporting Actor nominees are Fox List alums. Finally, the Academy is paying attention!

10. David Krumholtz (My love for the curly-headed endures)

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9. James Franco (My favorite soap star)

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8. Jason Sudeikis (If he's hot enough for January Jones, he's hot enough for me!)

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7. Mark Ruffalo (I firmly believe that when I am making the Fox List in 2027, he will still be on it)

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6. Jason Segel (Little known fact: proximity to Muppets is a major factor in hotness)

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5. Colin Firth (Even in his "advanced years," he still looks better in a suit than any other guy in Hollywood)

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4. Alexander Skarsgard (Practically perfect in every way)

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3. Sam Rockwell (Watch the movie Moon, please. Spoilers: it has TWO Sam Rockwells. Need I say more?)

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2. Chiwetel Ejiofor (Just thinking about where to put him on this year's list compelled me to watch Inside Man, Redbelt, Children of Men and Talk to Me in the last four days. For research purposes.)

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1. Matthew Goode (Though it was set in the gorgeous Irish countryside, he was still the best scenery in Leap Year)

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